#38 - Finding Fear.

I don’t like graduation ceremonies. But I do love a good graduation speech.

30 minutes ago, I had the pleasure of listening to a heater of commencement speech by Alison Schmitt — 4-time Olympian and 10-time medalist.

Among her many quotable lines was this nugget:

“Fear doesn’t show up when you’re standing still. When it does, it’s a sign you’re growing.”

I’m moving to Vancouver on Friday to go all-in on a startup with some friends. I’ve felt a lot of fear this past week leading up to it.

Thursday. My team at Boston Dynamics took me out for drinks to celebrate my final day of work. Lots of friends showed up, and it reminded me of the love and meaning I felt at that company. I feared never finding that again.

Saturday. My partner and I threw a going-away party. Standing in the corner of my apartment, I could see 40 of our closest friends smiling and laughing together in the same room. I feared losing them to time and distance.

Today. I sit with my partner and her family at her sister’s graduation ceremony. When I’m in Vancouver, she’ll be in Los Angeles. I fear losing everything we’ve built together if I can’t find a way back to the United States in a few months.

Fear keeps telling me to stay in Boston. But it’s the same voice I heard three years ago, alone in my first apartment in Cambridge, sobbing into my hands, certain I’d made a mistake.

I hadn’t.

I wish I could put an arm around my younger self and describe to him all the blessings that were about to come his way. But since I can’t go back in time, I’ll put an arm around my present self instead.

I’ll remind myself that I’m moving to Vancouver to chase a decade-old dream of building a successful startup. I’ll remind myself that love isn’t constrained to a zip code—it can survive and deepen as long as I put in the effort. And I’ll remind myself that wherever I find fear, I find growth.

My compass is pointing in the right direction. Now it’s just a matter of moving forward.

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See you next week — Rayhan